I’m a Bad Mom

People in my extended family constantly say, “You’re such a good Mom!”

I always chuckle, and say thank you while the line – If you ONLY KNEW! – scrolls through my mind as though it were bright flashing sign right across my forehead. Sometimes, a thank you doesn’t make it out before the sarcastic, “I wish!” falls out of the flaps of my face.

If I am being honest, I say this to myself at least once a day. Realistically, it’s probably at least 3 times a day, but I am trying not to beat myself up too much over this.

As I sit here and reflect, I actually don’t believe I am a bad Mom, it’s just that I am not a GOOD one.

I say bad words sometimes, I get angry, I get frustrated, sometimes I want to lock myself in a closet with a box of nutty buddy’s.

I know I am not the only one who feels this way. So let’s dissect this negative ideation us Mama’s plague ourselves with.

Why? Why do we feel this way?
Because we have determined that we are not the best possible candidate for our job. We have determined that the above shortcomings somehow disqualify us from being Good Moms.
But where did this start?

Comparison.

We are constantly comparing ourselves to other Moms. The problem is, we don’t always get the full picture. Don’t get me wrong, these are some Sent from heaven angelic Mama’s out there. Mom’s that I believe haven’t ever raised their voice. Ones that have the patience of a saint. I know they’re out there. However, in my group of Mom’s we have determined that they are the minority. Not that they feel any less qualified to do their God-given job’s called Motherhood, but they just do it so much more – quietly. If you were going to compare yourself to a Mom – it should be these Moms.

We compare ourselves to social media Moms. The Mom’s with kids in perfect clothes, well-styled hair, and brand name shoes. They have perfect smiles and clean rooms. You can see the photos of their awesome playrooms, and empty sink even though there’s a 5-course lunch on the table. We see their Instagram and snap stories, of laughing children, who seem to be so put together.

I am guilty of thinking to myself, “How in the world am I sitting here on the couch with my taquito while both of my kids are eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Doritos. They might get a cheese stick if they don’t argue at the table or spill their Capri Suns.

Am I any less of a Mom because of that? My heads instant response is YES! Then Logic kicks in, and I have to answer honestly. No, no I am not.

So how did I get here? I really couldn’t tell you. I KNOW these people don’t have perfect lives. I know that there’s a good probability that 20 seconds after that snap ended, that child complained about their lunch and begged for a peanut butter sandwich.

If you asked my Mom if she was a good Mom, she would probably tell you she didn’t’ think so. She would also follow up with the statement that she did the best she could. I believe my Mom did do the best she could. If you were to ask me if I thought she was a good Mom, I would say she was incredible. I wasn’t damaged by the times she lost her temper, I honestly could count on my fingers how many times I actually remember her doing that. I couldn’t tell you how many nights we had a home cooked meal versus a premade or fast food one,

My point is, I think I am constantly failing my kids, but the fact that I even care enough to criticize myself shows I am a somewhat decent Mom.

Cut yourself some slack Mama, you’re doing a great job!