It’s a hard pill to swallow when someone tells you that you’re in control of your emotions. Hearing those words can be easily dismissed, but when you allow the weight of the reality to settle in, you realize how serious they are.
This is something I learned the hard way, and something I continue to work on, on a daily basis.
So let me elaborate on that statement. No one can make you feel any way unless you allow them. You get to choose your emotions.
Say you’re on a highway with 3 lanes of traffic. You’re in the middle lane, and there’s a car traveling at your exact speed next to you. A speeding car comes from the open lane on your other side and cuts you off. You immediately get angry and begin a foul mouth remix of the 2000’s throwback you were just listening to. The car that just cut you off, cuts off the car right next to you. That driver isn’t emotionally affected by that driver’s negligent lane change.
Don’t take this as a look-at-me-I-have-complete-self-control post. Not in the slightest.
I absolutely lose my cool, and my emotions definitely get in my way.
However, I am completely aware that I am allowing myself to engage in the emotions that are invoked from whatever situation I have allowed to upset me.
Being self-aware genuinely helps with controlling your emotions, but there are a few other things I’ve learned to do.
- I use Mel Robbins – 5-second Rule. WIth the 5 second rule, I count backward from 5 and when I get to 1, I make a decision. The decision to not be angry, or walk away, or take a deep breath, pray, meditate, or whatever is a healthier way of handling the situation.
I definitely encourage you to check it out. I use this tactic for a lot of other areas in my life as well.
- I mentally start listing reasons why I am grateful for the situation, or person. You wouldn’t believe how changing your perspective can change your attitude towards it. Sometimes, this is harder and I have to use the 5-second rule to start. I also have to use this when I am allowing myself to wallow in anger.
- If these tactics don’t work, I will use a distraction. If I am at work, I will dive into a project, or focus on a task that I have been putting off. Anything that can consume my attention. If I am at home, I will make a list of chores that need to get done, and concentrate on completing the tasks at hand. If I am driving, I will put on a Podcast, Audio Book, or my favorite playlist. There are so many things you can do to distract yourself. Call a friend, Go for a walk, get an aggressive workout in, play a game with your kids, Sing at the top of your lungs, do a Puzzle, or get some retail therapy. There’s so many things you can do to distract yourself.
Understanding that your emotions don’t control you, and you control your emotions will change your life. Being mentally prepared for handling those emotions is the best way to handle emotional situations.
What is something that triggers you? What tactic could you use to help with it?
